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Family Culture with Beth Hoff

Oct 21, 2020

What in the world do you say to someone who just had a miscarriage?


No matter how fancy your words are, you are not going to take away the deep pain of the mom or dad standing in front of you who just said goodbye to the tiniest person they have ever loved. 


And you don’t have to.


Because what moms and dads (and families) need most following the loss of their little one is the unconditional love and support of a community who truly cares and is willing to make space for their pain and grief.


In this helpful episode, I share examples from moms and dads around the country of hurtful comments that were made to them following miscarriage, but more importantly what things you CAN say instead to communicate your love and support.


Episode 17 Takeaways:


+ Don’t try to remove the pain, instead focus on being present with the person.

+ Instead of probing questions or advice, try offering practical support like “Can I bring you dinner this week?”

+ There’s not always a “why” and discovering why isn’t the goal anyway.

+ Instead of trying to compare your experience, acknowledge that everyone’s story is different but that you are there if they want to process their story with you.

+ We need to give people freedom to be sad, to grieve, and to take their time doing it.

+ Choose to forgive and release those negative comments that were spoken to you. They do not represent the truth or God’s heart for you and your baby.


Thanks for tuning in to Part 3 of this 3-part series on miscarriage! Be sure to check out episodes 15 (Your Baby Matters: My Miscarriage Story) and 16 (5 Steps to Healing Your Heart After Miscarriage) for more.


Also, I’d love for you to take a minute to subscribe, rate and review the podcast! This helps us spread the word!


Come connect with me on Instagram @favoritefamilies!